Saturday, November 22, 2008
Goals and Grasshoppers
Well, so much is the same, as if I never left and time froze, and so much is different. It is a weird feeling to be back in the home we lived in with a whole new group of people and with the absence of my family. I am sleeping in the room that was my son’s and I often think about what our days were like here with the kids – it was the home of Jadyn’s first steps and Asher’s potty-training and the place where Dave and I shed tears of joy, hope, and frustration. Most of all it is so strange to be here and just be. A lot of our time here was spent with the goal of adoption and the starting of Suubi. Now that our sweet girl is home with us and things are finalized and Suubi is stable and growing (and runs smoothly without us here), I am struggling with a “goal” of being here. I listened to the subtle whispers and followed Dave’s gentle encouragement, our friends and family’s approval, and that subtle call/longing in my heart and now I am here. Is it enough to just be?
Can the “goal” of my time here be to simply be? To be present, to encourage our volunteers and interns, to speak encouragement to the women and to relish in the joy of being with Betty, baby David, and the wonderful young people that are giving their resources and time to serve the women of Suubi. To soak in the beauty of the land and the people and allow myself to be awed at how big (and small) and connected the world really is. Is it enough to just love and allow myself to be loved? To serve and be served?
Just a lot of processing taking place in my head and heart…
But on another note – everything is well. The interns and volunteers are beautiful and amazing – we are blessed by their willingness to serve and dig in and get their hands dirty – it is beautiful to watch. Their motivation to be present in the villages of Walukuba and Danita is awesome! I am looking forward to meeting the new group of women today – the 50 women we just added to Suubi! To see their faces, learn their names and stories, and share when I return home. And tomorrow will be incredible when I get to reunite with the original women of Suubi – can’t wait! More to come…
p.s. I ate a grasshopper the first night here – Betty catches them by the light at night and then they get a little time in the frying pan (with their wings and legs pulled off) and after they get lightly dusted with some Tony Chachere’s Original Creole Seasoning they are crunchy and taste like popcorn. It took me like 5 minutes to get over the mental thing of actually eating it, but once did it was actually good and I’ll probably have more! Weird, I know!